Like this:

So I’ve moved to a place where my door says ‘matrone’ my light is so old its come back into fashion and there is an intercom in my lounge. Which luckily (and unsurprisingly given its vintage) doesn’t work.

But it’s all good, ’cause it’s all new and no amount of new grime is as depressing as old grime. (Oh, I may not have mentioned, a certain amount of cleaning is called for, acid-stripping would get most of it off.)

Luckily the staff accommodation I’ve landed actually gets sun, so I can see the grime well enough to get rid of it, other school lessees are not so lucky.

Where we’re all lucky is the rent. By gosh, it’s cheap. It’s so cheap I can’t tell or you’d all be moving here!

And food is cheap, well, certain food, especially at the Cash ‘n’ Carry. And anything you can’t buy cheap you can grow. Just on the lane we live in there’s avo’s, lemons, and another tree we’re watching closely to see if it fruits anything nice.

I am settling happily into ESHOWE (that’s with the ‘oh’ sound not the ‘ow’ sound that the white people do). And as soon as I can figure out how to get into the forest for free, my life will be complete.

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